


The Cockroach

by Mobi_On_A_Mission



Series: Chopped: The 100 Fanfic Challenge [4]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Canon-Typical Violence, Chopped: The 100 Fanfic Challenge, F/M, Forehead Touching, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Marriage of Convenience, Reunion, Sanctum (The 100), Sci-Fi, based on the Martian (2015)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:06:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25369576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mobi_On_A_Mission/pseuds/Mobi_On_A_Mission
Summary: “This is the cockroach hailing Mission Team Alpha. It’s Sol 30 here on good ol’ Planet Alpha. Not that it’s really a planet, but eh whatever. Technicalities, right? Anyway. Systems check. Arm: healing. Bugs: normal. Radio: shitty. Attitude: good.”In which Murphy and Emori faked a relationship to get on a Polaris mission to Alpha, and then the Red Sun pulled them away from one anotherWritten for Chopped 3.0 Round 2!1st Place for Best Overall1st Place for Forehead Touch2nd Place for Sci-Fi3rd Place for Reunion
Relationships: Emori/John Murphy (The 100)
Series: Chopped: The 100 Fanfic Challenge [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678093
Comments: 7
Kudos: 17
Collections: Chopped 3.0 Round 2





	The Cockroach

**Author's Note:**

> Theme: Sci-Fi  
> Trope 1: Based on a TV Show or Movie: The Martian (2015)  
> Trope 2: Reunion  
> Trope 3: Kiss to keep cover/keep a secret  
> Trope 4: Forehead touches
> 
> Yes I realize this is a super loose interpretation of The Martian. Don't worry about it lol

**MURPHY**

**SOL 27**

“John!” Emori called out behind him, tripping over her feet on her way out of their tent. “You forgot to say goodbye!”

He stopped in his tracks and sighed, waiting for her to cross over the clearing to him. “I’m pretty sure I said goodbye. Remember?”

Emori shook her head, grinning shyly. “Not properly, you didn’t.”

Murphy leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. “My bad.”

“No.” Emori shook her head again. “Like this.” She was holding a thick stack of plans and blueprints in one arm, but she brought the other up to his face and pulled him down to her, bringing their lips together and kissing him deeper.

A few wolf whistles came from around the camp.

“There,” she said when she pulled away. “Have a great day, John.”

“You too, Mori.” He shook his head on a laugh and patted her shoulder. “We’re only going a few miles away to the lake. I’ll be back in time for dinner.”

She went back to zipper shut the tent flap, calling over her shoulder. “We’re on an alien planet, John. Everything is an adventure now.”

Murphy chuckled. Emori was gonna be the damn death of him. She loved playing the doting wife, but she’d never really be the doting wife. It was all sorts of confusing.

To say Murphy never expected he’d move to another planet with Emori would be the understatement of the century. He never even expected Polaris to recruit couples for their new colony on Alpha, and even if he had he wouldn’t have applied. But when Emori got the invitation and asked him to take the leap with her, it was an easy decision. He could escape his shitty upbringing and abusive ex Ontari. He could escape to not only a new town, but a new planet. Murphy and Emori had hardly spoken in years because Ontari cut him off from his friends, but still it was an easy decision to go with her. It was a little weird that they had to get married and pretend to be a couple, but he went along with it. It was just temporary, right?

… Right. They’d been on the ground for nearly a month, yet they were still faking it. It was just easier this way. Everyone else was coupled up anyway.

Monty came up beside him on his way to the motorcycles on the edge of camp. “You know I’d never have pegged you for the marriage type if I didn’t meet you and Emori at the same time!”

Murphy scratched the back of his neck. “Me neither, man. I never thought of it before her.”

“Well I’m happy for you.” Monty grinned. “You guys are good together. How long have you been together, anyway?”

“We’ve been married about a year now. Since just before we got into the Polaris program.” Hopefully that answer would suffice. They were married, that much was true. Murphy didn’t like to lie to his friends if he didn’t have to.

“Newlyweds! Congratulations, man. The honeymoon stage is a good one.”

“Says the old fart who’s been married a whole… five years?”

“I’m an expert now. You’ll understand when you’re older.”

“I’m already what, eighty with the time we spent on cryo? If I get much older I’ll be dead.”

“With that attitude, sure!”

“At least I can still run circles around you on a motorcycle,” Murphy said as they approached the bikes lined up under the shade of a tree. He swung his leg over one and revved it to life. “Try to keep up.”

“I know it’s fun but _please_ don’t make this an excuse to go swimming. We still don’t know if it’s safe and I actually want to get some tests run today.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever Mr ‘brewed moonshine in highschool.’” Murphy sped away, leaving Monty in his dust.

* * *

**EMORI**

**SOL 27**

It was a beautiful day. The eclipsing suns were painting the landscape in a soft red glow, perfect for picturing their future settlement. The bugs chirped and Emori could almost hear the sweet song of people chatting and children playing in the schoolyard.

Emori pointed out over the field. “The school’s gonna be on the east side of town, right over there.”

“It’s all starting to come together.” Harper smiled. “Only question is how big to make it. If we’re planning for a healthy growth with an average of four kids for every couple, that’s forty kids in the first generation, spread out over ten years. Then it’ll be another ten years or so until the first of the embryos are gonna start raising their own, and there’ll be even more kids in the second generation.”

“Right,” Emori agreed. “That’s roughly two kids a year for the first generation. We don’t need a very big school for that. I was thinking we start with three classrooms and room for expansion?”

“That should be more than enough.”

It probably was. Of the twenty people who’d come to Planet Alpha, Harper was the one teacher. In the next generation they’d probably get another, but it would still be a while until they’d even fill up three full classrooms.

“We can always use the extra space for a community center in the meantime. It’ll be good to have a designated indoor gathering place. Is there anything in particular you’d like for the school? Layouts or considerations?”

“Oh yeah! I-”

The bugs’ chirping was an angry buzzing now. There was a swarm of them, and they were flying straight at Emori and Harper.

“ _Run_ ,” Emori said, grabbing at Harper’s hand in her free one to tug her away from the bugs and back to camp, a sudden harshness in her voice. “We gotta get inside.”

They broke into a run, and the bugs only got louder and angrier. Emori’s heart pounded in her chest. John had been telling her about the wildlife all the time. They hadn’t catalogued any aggressive tendencies at all. No venom or sharp teeth or anything. Emori could feel it in the air: something was deeply wrong.

“Everyone in the tents!” Emori yelled as she and Harper ran down the hill to camp.

There was a scramble and some shrieks as people got into their tents as quickly as possible. Everyone was accounted for, everyone except…

“John!” Emori yelled out, just before Harper tugged her into the nearest tent.

“They’ll get here,” Harper reassured, sitting Emori down on the cot and stroking her shoulder. “They’re smart, they’ll get here.”

“Yeah.” Emori placed her hand on Harper’s. “They’re gonna get here.”

Once she shook the fear from her mind, she could see her surroundings. Across from the cot were two desks, and the far end of the space was filled with stacked bins with supplies. There were photos of Bellamy and Echo taped to the wall, along with some people she couldn’t recognize. Probably family and friends who were at least old if not dead by now. What a weird thought. Emori didn’t know if she’d ever get used to the concept of cryosleep. It felt like only a month ago they were all at training camp on Earth, but now they were farther from home than she could even wrap her head around.

Somehow the buzzing of the bugs hadn’t gotten any quieter by them going inside the tent. Emori could see the shadows through the tan walls. It was an angry swarm, actually attacking each other more than anything, but still batting at the walls and sounding like drum beats against the fabric.

“Emori!” John yelled. “Emori!” Thank god, he sounded okay.

“I’m here, John! Me and Harper. In Bellamy and Echo’s tent!”

Two silhouettes appeared outside the door, and Emori rushed to unzip the door to let John and Monty inside. They fell inside more than anything, but only a couple bugs followed them in. Emori zipped the door shut as Harper smashed the bugs to kill them.

It was still loud outside with the pounding of the bugs against the tent, but Emori could breathe better than before. They were all there. John was there.

She shuffled over to him, looking his black clothes up and down looking for signs of injury before meeting his gaze. He was flushed, cheeks rosy and eyes almost bugging out as he racked in deep breaths.

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Can I just say-” Harper breathed deep. “-what the fuck is going on here?”

Monty laughed, letting his head fall.

John thought about it for a moment. “It’s gotta be the eclipse. Like on Earth. It affects bugs. Looks like that effect is even stronger here on Alpha.”

“So it’ll be over soon?” Harper asked from behind Emori.

“Maybe. It’s only something I heard about in passing. I don’t know how long the effects last on Earth, let alone here.”

Monty sighed. “We might as well get comfortable here. Come on, the cot’s got room enough for four if we squeeze in.”

They all squeezed into the bed. Emori ended up half in John’s lap. Not that she really minded. His arm around her waist and his scent in her nose was reassuring with the swarming of bugs all around them. Of course he tried to make light of everything with slightly inappropriate jokes. It was stupid, but it also took Emori’s mind off of things. She couldn’t exactly blame him for helping her.

Eventually John fell silent. The bugs were calming down and the buzzing that was left alongside John’s steady heartbeat in her ear while he held her nearly lulled her to sleep.

It was dusk when John wormed his way out from under her. “I can’t take it anymore!” he yelled, pushing to his feet and grabbing a gun from the desk before unzipping the door and walking out without further comment.

“John, what’s gotten into you!” Emori scrambled after him, feeling for the knife on her thigh just in case things got messy.

A few other people came out of their tents too to see what was going on. From across the clearing, Emori could recognize Octavia, Jasper, and Lincoln, all bewildered.

“Unworthy!” John shouted. “You don’t belong here!” He opened fire across the clearing, shooting Octavia, Jasper, and Lincoln down before letting out a primal scream.

This wasn’t John at all. Emori knew him, Emori... Well. Emori knew him. He was not himself.

In the next moment, Clarke ran across the clearing with a knife in hand. “You cheating bitch!” she screamed, tackling her husband Finn to the ground and stabbing at him in a blind rage.

Was the eclipse affecting people now, too? If that was true… None of them were safe.

Emori pulled the knife from its sleeve on her thigh and moved to disarm John. If she could just restrain him and keep him from hurting anyone else…

Another gunshot rang out. This time, It wasn’t from John’s gun. John screamed in pain and gripped his arm. He ran off into the woods. “It’s all his fault!” he screamed. “Don’t let him take Alpha! Alpha is _ours_ not yours!”

Emori turned back to the source of the gunshot. _Bellamy_. Of course it was Bellamy.

“I had to stop him!” Bellamy yelled when he saw her face.

“Then you use the tranqs! Or the gas! Not a bullet!”

Bellamy’s face fell and he nodded grimly. “No more.” He nodded to himself. “No more.”

He headed back inside, and Emori ran across the clearing to restrain Clarke.

Emori had just pried Clarke off a bloodied Finn and captured her arms in a punishing grip when a sizzle sounded out. A sizzle and a red cloud and then everything was fuzzy, so fuzzy…

* * *

…Emori woke up slowly. First she became aware of the seat she was on. Firm yet soft. Then it was the harness on her body, holding her in a seated position. Then it was murmuring, more murmuring…

She pried her eyes open. Her head hurt and her vision was spinning but she could see enough to know she was on the transport ship. In the window, she could see Alpha looking small and in the distance. Just a little moon around a gas giant. It would be beautiful if it weren’t so terrifying.

John? Where’s John? She looked all around. She needed to find him. None of this made sense. None of this made any sense at all.

He wasn’t there. She couldn’t find him.

“John!” she called out.

No response.

“John!” she tried again.

Maybe he was dead.

It was an impossible thought, but Emori thought it anyway. Was it a kill shot? She couldn’t tell, not in the hubbub of everything that was going on when he went crazy. She was gonna kill Bellamy.

As soon as the computer gave the go ahead, Emori unstrapped her seatbelt in a blind rage and marched over to Bellamy. She pushed him with two hands, catching him unaware. He fell to the ground with a thud and she climbed on top of him.

“You killed him!” Emori screamed. “You killed him, you idiot! It was the eclipse and he couldn’t control it and you killed him, you bastard!” She slapped his face, which was already stained with tears she realized.

She broke into sobs right on top of Bellamy, slapping him lightly on the chest but mostly crying into his shoulder as he lay motionless.

When someone pried her off of him she didn’t even try to stop them. She let them carry her, let them carry her all the way to the cryo chamber. They set her on the light cushion and she went willingly, mopping up her tears and settling in for a long nap. She knew she wouldn’t feel any better when she woke up, but she hoped against all hope she’d wake up to this all being a bad dream.

John was dead.

John was dead.

John was-

* * *

**MURPHY**

**SOL 27**

Murphy woke up slowly. First it was the pain: a shooting pain through his left arm. It hurt like a son of a bitch. Then he noticed the blast. It left his ears ringing as he pulled himself up from the bushes. He stumbled into the clearing, clutching his arm in one hand.

The clearing was empty: charred ground where the transport ship was meant to be. He looked up and there it was, high above his head shooting up up up without him.

He screamed, and the sound of it just echoed in his ears, the ringing still louder and more real, like he wasn’t in his own body anymore. He was far away from everything. Alone. Alone. Alone.

Murphy collapsed to the ground again and the world spun until his eyes fell shut.

* * *

**EMORI**

**SOL 27**

* * *

**MURPHY**

**SOL 27**

When Murphy woke up again, Alpha was shrouded in darkness. His arm still hurt like nothing else, and the ringing in his ears had quieted but it was still there, blocking out everything else. He couldn’t tell if the bugs were chirping or buzzing. He couldn’t hear anything at all.

Murphy clutched his arm and pulled himself off the ground. The first thing he needed to do was take care of his arm. Everything else could wait.

The medical tent was easy to spot: bright red in the center of camp. The camp itself was a ghost town: nothing but the scattered dead bodies of his friends and their tents. It had never been so quiet. Even in the middle of the night, there was always someone out standing guard. Maybe someone out taking a piss. Hushed whispers coming from inside a tent. Now, there was nothing. No signs of life.

Murphy pushed the thoughts out of his mind and headed straight for medical, stepping around Finn’s bloody body in the process. He’d always thought Finn was a bit of an ass, but it still made his stomach churn to see him lying dead there.

Inside the med tent Murphy flipped on the lantern. There was a cot and… very little else. Shit. Did they take the medical supplies with them when they left?

Usually there were bins and bins of medical supplies set up in the med tent. Now, there was just a little first aid kit and a bottle of alcohol. That would have to be enough.

Murphy sat on the cot with a groan. He pulled off his jacket and peeled off his shirt. The blood was already starting to cake onto his clothes where the bullet hit his bicep.

Looking at it all bare, it was clear it was just a graze. Still serious, especially with no doctor to look at it, but Murphy could manage. He had med training, after all. He could take care of himself like he always did.

He lined up everything he’d need. Alcohol. Needle. Thread. Gauze and wrap. Fabric to bite down onto.

This grazed bullet wound was gonna be a cesspool for infection. Between dirt, fabric, and whatever else could get in it, Murphy had to kill everything in its path. He stuck the fabric in his mouth with his right hand and doused the wound in alcohol.

Murphy was already starting to feel woozy. Maybe it was the blood loss or the pain or the sight of his own blood. More likely a combination of the three. But he had to keep going or it would just get worse.

He tried to think logically as he sewed up his arm. Like it was just another surgery dummy he was practicing on and not his own flesh. Easier said than done. In and out, in and out, neat stitches in and out.

When he was done he doused it in some more alcohol then wrapped it in gauze and medical wrap.

Sweet relief, it was over. Murphy lay back on the cot and let sleep overtake him.

**SOL 28**

First thing in the morning, the world was still spinning. Murphy was faint, but still he redressed his wound. No infection yet, good. Good for a cockroach.

He raided the food stores for some nuts and berries they’d gathered. He sat inside and ate them, filling up his stomach for the first time in what felt like forever. The pain eased a bit and the ringing in his ears was quieter still. The world’s spinning slowed and Murphy could think straight again. He needed to get in contact with the rest of the mission team. That was protocol, if any of them got separated.

His radio was back in his and Emori’s tent. They’d all but given up on radios once they landed on Alpha. Something was blocking the signal and it never reached the receiver. But this was the only thing Murphy could think to try. Maybe long distance would work even if short range wouldn’t.

The bodies outside were starting to smell. The bugs were scavenging off of them and it was hard to imagine just last evening his friends were alive and well. Octavia especially was always nice to him. She defended him when everyone else thought he was being an ass and she helped him learn to swing an axe back at training. He liked her a lot, and now… Now he’d shot her. Killed her. She was dead now.

Murphy had shot three people. In the moment it felt right, felt necessary. But now it didn’t feel like that at all. There had to be some sort of explanation. It couldn’t be his fault. It had to be the eclipse. If it could affect the bugs like it did, maybe it could affect him too.

Raven was right. Murphy was a cockroach after all.

Murphy’s radio was in a bin in his and Emori’s tent, shoved between some tshirts and jeans. It wasn’t really a radio, not in the way Murphy was used to from his time on Earth. This one was more akin to his old smartphone. A big screen for video and just a couple buttons. It was solar powered too, which came in handy on a moon with two suns.

The fuzzy sound that came out of it when he spoke was the same.

“Hailing Mission Team Alpha. This is Murphy. John Murphy. Which you probably already knew, considering you left me all alone on this fucking moon.” He played at his teeth with his tongue, trying to calm himself. “It’s Sol 28 on Alpha. And it looks like I’m the only one of us left. What are we gonna call ourselves, anyway? Alphites? Alphans? Elephants? Whatever. I’m the last one.”

He shook his head. This monologue was so stupid. “I don’t even know why I’m doing this. This radio signal isn’t gonna go anywhere and even if it does, you’re probably in cryo by now anyway. Planet Beta, is that it? Good luck there. I mean, that is if it’s even survivable. Becca said we had the best shot here, right? And you abort mission the second things get tough?” He snorted. “Good luck with that. Really. I’m sure things will be just peachy if you keep doing that.”

All that met him was radio silence and a black screen. A machine cackle laughing in his face.

“Like I said, I don’t even know why I’m doing this. You obviously don’t care about me, or you would’ve taken me with you.”

Murphy leaned against the wall of the tent. “Look. I didn’t kill those people… Okay maybe I did, but it wasn’t me. I would never want to hurt them, not anything like that at least. You’ve gotta believe me, Mori, I-”

_Idiot. This wasn’t just about Emori._

“-I mean everyone. I think the eclipse messed with me. Clarke too, maybe more of us even. It’s the curse of the Red Sun. The sky goes red? People end up dead.”

Murphy took a long breath, hoping against all hope they’d respond on the radio. “It’s a hypothesis, at least. I’ll keep you posted. That is, at least, if you can ever hear these messages at all.” He huffed. “Oh and Bell? You probably thought you’d killed me, huh.” _He’d like that, wouldn’t he?_ “Well it’s hard to kill a cockroach. The bullet just grazed my arm. If you ever come back here… you’d better pray you weren’t going for that kill shot. You were always a good shot, so I guess maybe you didn’t fuck it up too bad.”

He dropped the radio down on the cot. His cot that he shared with Emori. If he lay down he knew he could still pick up a hint of her scent on her pillow.

Murphy picked up the radio for one last message. “Emori, if you can hear me… I hope you’re safe. I hope you’re well. I hope- I hope I didn’t hurt you.”

* * *

**EMORI**

**SOL 28**

* * *

**MURPHY**

**SOL 29**

The suns woke Murphy up at dawn. He was curled up in a tight ball on the bed, clutching Emori’s pillow to his face.

When he realized what he was doing, he jolted away and picked up the radio. He couldn’t get attached like that. It wasn’t good for him. Not when she was here and definitely not now that she’d left him.

“Hailing Team Alpha. Murphy here again. It’s Sol 29. I rested most of yesterday, trying to get this nasty bullet wound to heal. It’s not infected, but then again I did use a hell of a lot of alcohol on it. Whatever of my arm Bellamy didn’t kill with that bullet I probably took care of with the bottle.”

Murphy took a deep breath. “Today I’m going to deal with the bodies. A fire will be easiest. This arm is still killing me and I definitely can’t be digging any holes right now. Doctor’s orders.” He chuckled. “If it isn’t clear, I’m the doctor here. Not a medical doctor, but that’s just a technicality. Seriously though. Jackson, don’t even let me doubt your doctoring skills again. Mine are no better, let me tell you that much!”

He clipped the radio to his jacket. This way it could charge in the sunshine and if anyone radioed back he could hear it.

He tied a scarf around his mouth and nose before going outside. It would help with the smell.

There were four bodies in the clearing. First he dealt with Finn. He’d be the easiest, since Murphy wasn’t the one who killed him. It was still disgusting though, warding off the bugs just to grab him by the leg in one hand and drag him across camp to where he’d planned to burn the bodies.

It was hard work, moving bodies when he had a bullet wound in one arm. But such was life, as the last man on Alpha. No one else was gonna do it. He dragged body after body, until all four of them were set in a row. Murphy took their shoes but left the rest of their clothes on. It would feel wrong, to strip them naked to burn them. They needed that last bit of dignity even in death.

Just before he set the fire, he took out his knife to slice at their skulls and take out their mind drives. They were heavy in his hand: bright and blue and covered in blood. Four entire lifetimes—however short they were—summed up in just a handful of silicon.

 _The mind drives, the mind drives…_ _That was it, the mind drives!_ There was a computer in one of the tents, one of the bins: a computer meant for cataloguing mind drives and even sending the information remotely to the mothership. If Murphy was right, it would override cryo to share the new information with the crew onboard. He could send them a message without even using the radio.

Murphy turned on the radio. “Hailing Team Alpha. The cockroach here. I’ve got it now. I’ve got it. Now I just pray you’ll actually come back for me… Anyway. If you are awake to hear this, let me say this in front of you: Octavia, Jasper, Lincoln, Finn. May we meet again… may we meet again,” he echoed himself, as he took his finger off the call button.

He set the fire and watched his friends’ bodies go up in flames. Murphy had always loved a good fire—he even got in trouble for setting one in his neighbours’ backyard when he was a kid—but this fire made his stomach turn. He watched the flame consume their bodies slowly, and when it was all over he was well and truly alone.

His team thought that Planet Alpha was unsurvivable... but what would really be unsurvivable is living there without Emori, without anyone.

Murphy went through bin after bin after bin, sweat dripping from his forehead and a pounding in his shoulder and his head. But then there it was, in the bottom of a bin in Miller’s and Jackson’s tent: a grey dome-shaped computer. He opened it up, and it came to life with blue glowing wires.

He set the first mind drive in, a “VII” etched into it. The computer sucked it inside and a screen came to life on the lid. Memories, one after another, raced by. Big moments: graduations, weddings, births, deaths… a life in milestones.

The computer released the mind drive and Murphy set it to the side.

He set the second drive in, an “XIV” etched into it. Again, the screen flashed with a lifetime of memories.

The third mind drive was XIII. Yet another life.

IX was the final one. Another life taken by the Red Sun. Murphy couldn’t even watch the screen. The tears were falling down his face and it was all too much.

He spoke into the radio, his voice raddled with tears. “Good morning, sunshine.”

* * *

**EMORI**

**SOL 29**

-dead

John was dead.

John was dead.

Emori’s eyes opened to her cryo pod opening. Yep, just as she thought, she doesn’t feel any better than she did when she went in. John’s loss still claws at her heart, enough to be a physical pain.

Her jaw clenched. Bellamy was gonna pay for what he did to him.

A beeping from Emori’s cryo pod control panel pulled her from her thoughts. She lifted up on her elbows to read the screen.

 _Alert_ , it read. _New memories from Planet Alpha_.

Emori’s heart beat hard in her chest. If they were getting memories from Alpha, that had to mean there was someone alive there sending them. Had it been long enough already that a recon team could be there? Or did it mean someone had survived?

Maybe John had survived.

She tried to push the thought out of her mind as she swung her legs off the side of her platform so she could stand up. There was no use in hoping. The other pods were opening too, each one with a beeping alert on the control panel.

Raven was already at the door. “Get to the comms room, everyone. This is something you’ll want to see.”

They moved in silence as they followed her through the lifeless grey halls. Emori couldn’t contain herself anymore and broke into a run. She needed to see as soon as possible. Was John among them or was he the one sending the signal?

Emori was the first one to the comms room. There was a huge screen on the wall opposite to the door. The speakers shook with the raging bass and joy-filled screams of a nightclub, then softened to the swell of a bridal march as the rest of the team filed into the room after her.

Maya appeared on the screen, and in real life Maya cried on Miller’s shoulder, the broken sobs of a widow louder than anything from the rest of Jasper’s memories that sounded through the speakers and crossed over the screen.

His memories ended with a flash of John and then a gunshot before the screen went black and shrouded the room in darkness.

Not five seconds later, the numerals XIV crossed over the screen followed by a new set of memories. They began with memories of a young boy, of parks and birthdays and sitting on another kid’s shoulders. It took a second to figure out, but it was Octavia.

Emori looked over to see the tears falling from Bellamy’s eyes as he clenched his jaws. It was harder to be mad at him thinking about how he’d just lost his sister. How he lost his sister because John shot her.

It was the eclipse’s fault, but that didn’t matter. She was still just as dead.

Immediately after Octavia’s memories came Lincoln’s. XIII. Everyone loved Lincoln. He wasn’t exactly family to any of them, except maybe to Bellamy and Echo, but they had all grown close since coming to training camp. Even the most stoic among them was in tears now.

IX was the next memory. From how Clarke screamed, it was clear from the beginning that mind drive IX was Finn’s. Clarke had killed her husband. Her husband. Screaming about him cheating on her. Emori didn’t know if it was true or not: if the cheating was an eclipse-induced psychosis or a real stain on their marriage. But either way Clarke wasn’t a murderer. She couldn’t be. She just seemed so normal.

Just like John. She wasn’t really a killer. They weren’t killers. They weren’t.

The lights went out on Finn’s memories. Sobs echoed through the blackened room and the air went cold as they waited for the next set of memories to come through.

But the room remained black.

Raven moved to the controls. “Mission Team Alpha hailing anyone on Planet Alpha. Do you copy?”

Emori held her breath in anticipation.

“I repeat. Mission Team Alpha hailing anyone on Planet Alpha. Do you copy?”

Silence.

“This is Mission Team Alpha. We received data files from four mind drives. Whoever sent them, do you copy?”

When there was still no response, Monty lay a hand on Raven’s shoulder. “The radio signals on Alpha get messed up. Someone’s there, we just can’t talk to them.”

“Then how could the memory files come through?” Raven shook her head. “It doesn’t make sense. “Aren’t those radio signals too?”

“Not exactly. The whole mind drive system is built on Becca’s cutting-edge technology. It’s a super high frequency wave. Polaris radios are amazing technology, but they don’t work the same. Looks like one wave is getting messed up and not the other.”

Raven slumped in her seat, but didn’t say another word. Usually she’d fight and try to figure out every problem immediately. Emori admired that about her: Raven was always so confident and self-assured. But now, she just looked tired.

After a few more minutes of silence everyone except Emori and Raven left the room. The weight in the air of the lives they've just lost was likely too much to bear. Emori stayed though. She leaned against the wall and sunk to the floor. She hugged her knees to her chest and stared blankly at the screen. If John’s memories appeared, she didn’t know what she would do. But as sure as she was that they wouldn’t, she had to be sure she was right.

John’s memories never appeared while everyone else’s did. That meant he was alive and well enough to send the mind drives through. He was okay, and they’d left him behind on a strange moon no one fully understood yet.

Bittersweet tears fell from her cheeks. Half of her heart sang in joy at him being alive. The other half was terrified for him. All of her heart just wanted to be with him. She needed her best friend. To be safe and together in the same place. If only he would distract her from her pain with stupid little jokes. If only she could take care of his wounds herself and fall asleep curled against his warm chest.

Maybe not the last one. He was still healing from Ontari. Emori could never make him feel trapped or like she had those sorts of expectations of him. Their marriage was an agreement to move to another planet together. That in itself was a lot. She was not about to make him feel like he had to be in love with her too.

There was no way to tell how much time had passed as she stared, but the next thing Emori registered was the sound of Raven’s feet padding across the comms room.

She sank down next to her and put an arm around Emori’s shoulder. “It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it?”

Emori nodded. “Just this morning everything was normal.”

“And now four of our friends are dead and the cockroach has a whole moon to himself.”

Emori sighed. “Why do you call him the cockroach, anyway?” It was something that had confused Emori for a long time, but she kept her mouth shut about it. John and Raven had a weird relationship and she didn’t want to get in between them. She wouldn’t control him like Ontari did. A little curiosity couldn’t hurt though.

Raven shrugged. “He can survive anything. I like to remind him of that. He’s stronger than he thinks he is.”

“That’s actually really beautiful.” Emori lay her head on Raven’s shoulder. “You’re a good friend. He needs that.”

Raven hummed. “How are you feeling, Em?”

Was _everything_ an acceptable answer? “I just wish I were there with him.”

“Love’s funny that way. It’ll make you do the most dangerous things.”

“John’s not dangerous.” Emori lifted her head from Raven’s shoulder. “Alpha is dangerous, not John.”

“That’s not what I meant! But he could be dangerous if he wanted to be. ”

“Any of us could be. We’re all dangerously overqualified and don’t you forget it.”

“That’s right. We’re gonna be just fine and so is he.”

* * *

**MURPHY**

**SOL 30**

“This is the cockroach hailing Mission Team Alpha. It’s Sol 30 here on good ol’ Planet Alpha. Not that it’s really a planet, but eh whatever. Technicalities, right? Anyway. Systems check. Arm: healing. Bugs: normal. Radio: shitty. Attitude: good.”

Murphy smiled despite himself. “Today I’m gonna try to figure out what’s up with these piece of crap radios. I’m picking up some sort of a signal to the west. I’m gonna go check it out, see what I can find. And hey, maybe I’ll get lucky and it’s actually you guys!”

It hurt just saying, because Murphy knew there was no way it was true.

“Anyway, talk to you later. This is the cockroach. Over and out.”

Murphy clipped the radio onto a motorcycle. He had a bag all packed up and ready to go. A notebook. A blanket and tarp. Extra rations. The med kit. A gun on one hip and a knife on the other. He was ready for anything.

He roared the motorcycle to life and settled it on a gentle purr, the familiar vibration of it reassuring. Murphy looked out to the west. He’d be heading straight into the woods. The mission team hadn’t explored far in that direction before, so he didn’t know what he’d find beyond the first couple miles of trees.

He followed the signal tracker on the radio. The signal was faint and faded in and out, but it was all Murphy had to work on. As he kept travelling, the signal seemed to move back and forth and in circles. Not moving far but not staying still either.

An idiotic little shred of hope blossomed in his chest. Could it really be them?

As he got a little closer still, the air became thicker and thicker. A green smoke overtook the trees and the bugs were eerily quiet. But Murphy pressed on still. As much as unrest was shuddering through him, so too was hope. This was his only hope.

The woods grew even thicker, and soon Murphy was no longer able to travel on the motorcycle. So he took his pack and his radio and travelled on foot, still following the signal through the green fog. The signal grew stronger and stronger, closer and closer.

Murphy’s radio cackled to life, and he held his breath for the message.

“May we meet again,” sounded the radio in Murphy’s own voice.

“We made it, bitches!” Octavia laughed over the radio.

He held still, paralyzed from confusion until it sounded again.

“What are we gonna call ourselves, anyway? Alphites? Alphans? Elephants? Whatever. I’m the last one.”

So that was it then. This green fog was sucking up all the radio calls. That’s why they wouldn’t work on Alpha. Murphy almost threw the radio into the haze, but that wouldn’t help anything. He had to be responsible now, and that wouldn’t help anything. There was no one to help him anymore.

He tried to turn around and go back to his motorcycle, but now he couldn’t even remember where it was. The fog was too thick and the woods were too dense and no matter which direction he turned it all looked the same.

Murphy sat down against the trunk of a tree and tried to figure out his next steps. He was tired, so goddamn tired, and there was no end in sight. He was trapped all alone on this strange moon with its psychosis-inducing eclipses and anomalous radio signal-sucking fog.

Ontari came to him off and on, taunting him. He knew she was just a vision, that there was no way she was actually here. By now she’d be old or dead anyway. She couldn’t hurt him anymore. There was no point in fighting her. Ontari’s voice was familiar, and he’d take any familiarity he could get right now.

Murphy didn’t respond to anything Ontari she said, and eventually she faded away.

The day grew darker and darker. When the vines tried to overtake Murphy, he just sliced them away and kept sitting. What was the point, anyway?

The next thing Murphy heard was a scream. He picked his head up.

“John?” The voice called out. “John!”

 _Emori_. Murphy shot to his feet and followed after the sound, traipsing through the pitch blackness by the dim glow of the green fog.

“Emori?” he yelled. “Emori where are you? I’m here!” He walked a few steps more, and from behind a tree Emori’s glowing form appeared.

Oh. Of course she was just an illusion. Murphy was an idiot to even consider she was real. And then he was an idiot again, because when she reached out for him he took her hand in his.

“I was so worried,” she said. “Where have you been? We thought you were dead.”

“I’m here now, Mori,” he said. He knew he shouldn’t indulge the vision, but he couldn’t help himself. “I missed you.”

“Come on now, I’ll take you back home. Just come with me, John.” Not-Emori led him by the hand. “Everyone will be so happy to see you’re okay.”

Murphy let her lead him through the woods and into a clearing. In front of them was the brightest green Murphy had ever seen in his life. It was huge and domineering and not-Emori was leading him straight for it.

She disappeared inside the glow. Murphy’s fingers disappeared into it along with her, and then his senses snapped back into him. This wasn’t real. None of this was real.

Murphy pulled his hand back as not-Emori slipped into the glow without him. He didn’t know what to do, couldn’t think of anything to do but turn around and run in the opposite direction. There were more visions all around him. His father, who was the only one to show him love when he was a child. His mother, taunting him for killing his father. Ontari came back as did his old friend Mbege and a thousand other people Murphy had known over the years. None of them could make him slow down or turn around.

By some miracle he came upon his motorcycle. The tree vines wrapped around it a little, but it only took a few seconds to slice it clean. He started the engine and rode off, trying to get as far away from that green glow as he could.

He rode and rode and rode, out of the woods and into the grasslands.

He stopped at the mission team camp to sleep. Almost as soon as his head hit the pillow he was asleep.

Thoughts of Emori plagued his dreams. He tried to push her out, but she kept on coming back. Eventually he gave in, because this Emori wasn’t trying to pull him into the anomaly. Instead she talked with him and laughed with him. She tended fields and directed the construction of their home and warmed his bed.

**SOL 31**

Murphy woke up with a smile on his face and a pit in his heart. He was always one to want things he couldn’t have and love people who were tantalizingly unreachable.

“It’s Sol 31 now. This is the cockroach. Like I said yesterday, I followed the signal. And what I found… I know you’re not gonna hear this message. But I realized something today: If the anomaly is what’s sucking in the signal, maybe I can reach you if I just go farther away from it. I still don’t understand how it works, but it’s worth a shot. This is a big moon. I have a motorcycle. Maybe it’ll work. If I have anything to say about it it will. Anyway. This is the cockroach. Over and out.”

Murphy collected some supplies. Food and clothes. Notebooks and blueprints. Emori’s scarf. It smelled like home and Murphy was too terrified to deny himself that comfort anymore.

He rode through the grasslands, around the mountains and through the woods beyond. Through any terrain he rode, days and weeks passing him by. With every radio call he made, he grew less and less hopeful that he’d hear a response. Sometimes when he turned on the radio, all he could do was cry and apologize. Other times he’d laugh at his own jokes. Sometimes he’d reminisce about his friends and try to roast them even though they couldn’t hear.

Most of the time, though, he just talked to Emori and prayed to every deity he’d heard of that she was alive and well and could call him back.

* * *

**EMORI**

**SOL 52**

Emori was leaning up next to the bridge’s window, a book in hand but not really paying attention to it as she stargazed out the window.

Things had been a struggle after they had gotten the memory files. Emori thought things would be alright, that Shaw would turn the ship around and they’d be back to John in no time.

But apparently that’s not how space travel worked. In order to turn around they needed to use gravity to pivot off of, and they were in the middle of nowhere. There were no bodies with enough mass that they could use. Yet. Shaw had run all the calculations, and the soonest they could turn back to John was in another week.

Usually it wouldn’t seem like a long time, especially with cryo ready and available, but Emori could only imagine what John was going through back on Sanctum. Maybe he was hiding from a swarm of bugs. Or fighting off a sea monster. Or dying of a gunshot wound. It made it difficult to pay much attention to reading.

“Emori! Get in here!” Raven called out.

Emori slid a bookmark into the book and walked over to the comms room. The first couple times Raven had called her she ran in as excited as could be, only to find out it was a false alarm and they were nowhere nearer to contacting Murphy than they were before.

But even as she walked, her heart pounded.

She rounded the corner into the comms room, and there it was: the buzzing of a radio.

“And then this little fucker just flew straight at me!” John laughed over the radio. “Guess there’s venom on Alpha afterall. My eye’s all shades of fucked up right now.”

“John?” Emori rushed to Raven’s side to hear his voice again.

Raven nodded. “It’s him. Just give me a second to hone the signal and you can talk back to him.”

Emori was silent, biting her lip and waiting in nervous anticipation.

John continued rambling. “I wish you could see it now, Mori. This place is beautiful. I took a shower under a waterfall today. It was cold, but it was awesome. There were tadpoles in the water, but they weren’t brown like the ones at home. They were all shades of the rainbow: red, green, yellow… even your favorite blue. The same shade as that dress you wore the day we got married. I really liked that dress, you know. I don’t know if I ever told you that before, but I did.”

He breathed hard. “Anyway I wish you were with me. You would’ve loved the little cave behind that waterfall. Would’ve tried to make it a home, I bet. As always, this is the cockroach. Over and-”

“Got it!” Raven shouted, handing the controls over to Emori.

A pixelated image of a appeared on the screen. It looked like-

“...John? Oh my god, _John._ ”

“Emori? Is that really you?”

“It’s really me. I feared- I’m glad you’re okay.”

A smile spread across his face. “It’s so good to see your face again Emori. Raven too.”

“Hi!” Raven waved.

Emori wiped a tear from her eye. “I’m so happy to see you too. You look terrible, John.” He really did. John was sporting a black eye so of course she had to tease him. But the look in his eyes—that was the most beautiful sight Emori had seen in ages.

“Hey!” John pouted. “I was gonna give you a compliment but now I’m taking it back. You gotta remember, I’m the hottest guy on Alpha right now.”

“Yeah,” Raven joked. “It took everyone else leaving for you to get there though. No one’s impressed.”

Emori slapped Raven playfully. “Don’t listen to her. You were always the prettiest, John. Raven’s just jealous.”

John laughed. “Can I just say how nice it is to talk to you and you actually talk back? It’s been too long.”

“Yeah. It really has.”

The rest of the mission team came into the comms room, and John debriefed them on everything that’s been going on. How the “Red Sun” eclipse caused the craziness the day they left. How the anomaly sucked in all the radio signals. It hurt to hear everything he’d been through in the weeks since she last saw him. He’d been through so much in such a short period of time.

In turn, they told him about how they were trying to get back. How Bellamy panicked and made an executive decision that sent them hurtling across the galaxy. How they were gonna turn around soon.

The rest of everybody left the room, and finally Emori was alone with John.

“I missed you, you know that?” Emori bit her lip. “I went crazy on Bellamy after he shot you. If I were just a little further gone maybe I would’ve killed him.”

“Hey.” John’s voice was soft. “The Red Sun did crazy things to us all. Don’t beat yourself up over it, okay? You’re not like that. You’re good, ‘Mori. You have such a good heart and we’re lucky to have you.”

“Okay. You’re right, I am pretty awesome!”

“For you? Nah, pretty awesome is an understatement.”

“You’re too good to me, John.”

“Impossible.”

They kept on talking for a few hours, until Emori could only see John by the light of the fire he started to stay warm through the night.

“Hey Emori?”

“Yeah?”

“I need to sleep. From my projections of the suns, it looks like there’s gonna be another Red Sun before you get back. This time, I need to be ready. Talk to you in the morning?”

“Talk to you then. I miss you already.” Emori pressed her forehead to the camera.

John echoed the motion on his radio. “I miss you too. You’ll be back before you know it.”

Emori nodded and said goodbye. The screen went black once more and Emori was alone again. She sat alone in the comms room, not wanting to leave in case John radioed again before she’d come back. She didn’t want to miss him if he called.

* * *

**MURPHY**

**SOL 53**

The next morning when Murphy woke up, he held Emori’s scarf to his nose and pulled out his radio.

“It’s a beautiful morning, Emori. You ready to face it?”

He held his breath until her face popped up on the screen, her hair a mess from sleep.

Emori yawned. “A beautiful morning it is. How are you up so early? You never wake up before me.”

“It’s hard to sleep in when there are two suns blaring in your face. You should try it sometime!” That, and they stayed up way too late talking the last night so of course Emori needed the sleep. Murphy just couldn't bear to let her go for the night.

“Gladly. I’d love to fall asleep under the stars and wake up to the light of the suns. As long as you’re there with me to ward off the big scary bugs!” Emori laughed.

That sounded like a dangerous idea. Sleeping in a bed with Emori was one thing, but outside under the stars? Where they’d stargaze and cuddle for warmth and talk about their hopes and dreams? It would be too hard to keep it in any longer how Murphy’s biggest hope and dream was her.

With each passing day, it became harder and harder to remember why he’d decided to not to try for a real romance with Emori. Something about how terrible it would be trapped in a tiny village with her and a bunch of couples if she rejected him. How at least this way he got to be with her, even if it wasn’t in the exact way he wanted her.

The risks didn’t seem so big anymore.

“Emori, you know I’ll keep you safe from the bugs. I’ve been learning all sorts of things _not_ to do, so by the time you get back I’ll know what I’m doing.”

She smiled. “You said you’re gonna start preparing for the Red Sun? What genius plan did you come up with?”

“I figure it’s the plants that are the problem. Clarke and I were the ones who freaked out, right? Well right before that I was running tests on the lake grasses and she was foraging in the woods trying to find new edible and medicinal plants. Twenty people and the two working with plants felt the strongest effects? I don’t think that's a coincidence.”

Emori hummed. “You might be right. So what are you gonna do about it?”

“A cave, of course. It’s basically a bomb shelter. Safe from crazy ass plants and crazy ass bugs. All I have to do is seal the door and bunker down for a few days. Easy peasy.”

“Easy peasy? How do you plan on making an airtight seal?”

“Like I said: easy peasy. Gonna make a door and fit it like a weatherproofing strip. I’m gonna experiment with some materials today to figure out what to use in place of foam. Something will work. I know it will.”

They pressed foreheads together.

“I’ll talk to you later, John. For now I have a very important appointment with a book and I can’t be late. I’ll keep my radio on. Raven hooked me up with a mobile unit like yours so I don’t have to spend all day in the comms room.” She brushed the hair out of her face. “If anything exciting happens you call, okay?”

“Anything exciting? Gotcha. I’ll make sure to call you whenever I have to take a piss.”

“Shut up, John.” She rolled her eyes. Murphy loved it when she smiled. He could spend his whole life making her smile and not-laugh at his jokes and he’d never get bored of it.

**SOL 64**

Spending his days on the radio with Emori instead of alone in his thoughts, time flew by. Once Murphy got the cave seal working, he was able to start work on the village. Emori, of course, had a lot to say about it. Construction was her vision, her job. And she had enough drawings packed away in Murphy’s bag to prove it.

It would be too hard to actually start building the homes until everyone got there, but Emori walked him through choosing a place for each piece of the village and marking its place.

Now he was in the middle of tilling a field, Emori’s voice ringing out from the radio clipped to his chest.

“Water flows down hill, John,” she reminded him. “Usually.”

“What do you mean, usually?”

She laughed. “Don’t worry about it. Just stick to common sense. We don’t want to build our house just for it to become a puddle. And the bottom of the hill is your best bet for a well.”

“Got it. Water flows uphill, right?”

“Exactly. No wonder you got that PhD—you’re a star student.”

Murphy grunted at the effort of tilling the field in the hot sun. A lot of times it felt unnecessary, trying to start a whole village when it was only him on Alpha. But who knew when the weather was going to turn and they wouldn’t be able to plant or build anything? Besides, it kept him with hope. If there was anything he needed most, it was hope.

He let himself live in the fantasy of an idealized future with Emori and everyone in the village they’d build. “Which homesite do you want to be ours, Mori? We get first dibs, seeing as we’re the ones doing all this fucking work!”

Emori thought for a moment. “What about the one not too far from the waterfall? It sounds so peaceful out there.”

Murphy could see it now: taking morning swims in the creek, shoving each other under the stream of the waterfall, falling asleep to the smell of Emori’s hair and the soft rush of water far away. And years later, when children filled the village, Emori would teach them all to swim in the creek just like she’d taught him when they were in university and he’d bashfully told her he’d never really learned.

He could see a whole life for them there. “Yeah, Emori,” he said. “I think that’s the one.”

“I can’t wait to make a home with you,” she said, and his love was in the pit of his heart and the tip of his tongue.

“I can’t wait for you to come home to me.”

* * *

**EMORI**

**SOL 85**

The Red Sun came again the week before Emori and Mission Team Alpha were scheduled to return to the moon. He and Monty walked through all the preparations he’d need to make. Sealing the cave door and rationing his food. Leaving the weapons outside so he didn’t try to hurt himself if the toxin affected him.

Emori talked to him over the radio as he watched the suns get closer and closer to one another. On Sol 85 he finally called it and sealed himself inside the cave. The plan was to stay inside for three days. They weren’t sure how long the toxin was active, but three days should cover it.

Emori listened over the radio when the swarms came. They just passed by the door, didn’t hit against it much like they did the tents. But it was frightening all the same, because she knew what happened next last time. What if it was bad like that again?

John had to sit on his makeshift cot and curl up into a ball, hyperventilating and crying silently. Emori layed on her side in her own bed and talked him through it as best she could. Deep breathing and affirmations. How good of a man he was. How much he’d done for her and the little society they were building up. How much she cared for him and knew he could get through this.

She wanted more than anything to be there with him, to hold him in her arms as she comforted him. Somehow the Red Sun didn’t seem as dangerous if they faced it together. They could get through anything.

“You can do this, John. You’re the strongest man I know.”

His words were choked with tears. “You’re the one who keeps me strong. Without you I- I-” He whined. “I can’t do it.”

“Yes you can. Just look at everything you’ve survived, everything you’ve achieved. That wasn’t me. That was you.”

As his battery died out and radio static overtook the channel, they pressed their foreheads to their radios and practiced mindful breathing.

“I still miss you.”

“Me too.”

Emori let go of the radio and curled into herself. The bed under her was too soft and too cozy, knowing how cold and damp and hard John’s bed on the ground must have been. Her stomach clenched in disgust with herself. There’s nothing she could do to help.

Sometime after Emori started blankly staring at the wall, she heard a knock on the closed door. When she didn’t respond, Harper opened the door and padded over to Emori, a soft _tsk tsk tsk_ in her breathing.

Harper sat on the foot of the bed, and Emori tipped over onto her back to stare at the ceiling.

“It could help to get your mind off of it.” Harper’s voice was soft, but it still grated Emori’s nerves.

“I don’t want to get my mind off of it.” It felt wrong. She didn’t deserve to get her mind off of it. If John had to live through it she at least had to feel it.

“Emori.” She shot her a look. “You and I both know that’s not a good idea. Come on and have lunch with us. It’ll help you.”

Harper was right. Emori pried herself out of bed and followed her in silence, the walls around her feeling disconnected from reality. It was like just after she finished a book and looked around at the world once more. Everything felt off. Everything felt wrong. But there was nothing to do except live in it.

* * *

**MURPHY**

**SOL 88**

Murphy pried the cave door open when the suns were still low on the horizon. He shielded his eyes, the light too bright after three days in darkness. But it felt good to be outside. The air was crisp and the grass dewey. For once the gentle buzz of the bugs wasn’t so much annoying, but reassuring.

He clipped his radio onto his chest and moved to the middle of the clearing. The sooner he could get it to charge in the suns’ light, the sooner he could talk to Emori again. He really missed talking to her.

His entire body was thrumming with excitement. Today it was harder than usual to pull himself out to tend the fields, but eventually he succeeded. Now that he’d survived the Red Sun without too much incident, a weight was lifted off his shoulders. It wouldn’t be long until everyone was back and the village would spring to life.

By now the solitude had become comfortable. Murphy didn’t like it, but he was used to it. Fortunately that meant he could yell and sing as much as he wanted and no one told him to shut up. Although after a while he grew to miss teven that. He’d give anything to have his friends there with him, even when they were rolling their eyes.

His radio chimed, a signal that it was charged enough to be used, and Murphy snatched it right off his chest.

“Hailing Emori and Mission Team Alpha. This is the cockroach. Do you read me?”

No matter how many times he’d done this, the seconds before she responded still felt like an eternity. “...John?” Emori sniffled.

“Are you okay?”

“I am now.” She forced a laugh, her eyes glimmering with unshed tears. “It had just been so long since you called, I was worried something had happened to you.”

“Nothing’s gonna happen to me. I’m the cockroach, right? Nothing can kill me.”

“Nothing can kill you,” she echoed. “Oh! Shaw said we’re making good time. We’re only five days out now.”

Five days. Murphy could handle five days. “So traffic’s not too bad then?”

“Oh, you know how it is. Rush hour’s a problem but that only lasts so long.” She wiped at her tears and a genuine smile crossed over her face. “If you were here we could annoy everyone by asking if we’re there yet every five seconds.”

Murphy clipped the radio to his chest and buried a couple seeds in the soil. “We’d have to be careful or they’d just throw our asses in cryo to shut us up though.”

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

“You daredevil!” Murphy shook his head. “I can’t believe it.”

“Oh sure. As if I wasn’t always the one pulling you out of trouble back in school.”

Murphy scoffed. “I think you’re conveniently forgetting about the fact that when we met it was because I caught you stealing from me.”

“I thought it was a ‘please take one’ sort of situation!”

“No one does that with groceries, Mori.” Murphy shook his head. “No one.”

As Murphy worked the field, Emori took him around to talk to their friends. He laughed more that day than he had in a long time. By the end of it he was sore but light on his feet all the same.

He lay down to sleep in the cave next to the open door, listening to rainfall and the sound of Emori’s voice.

She trailed off. “You’re falling asleep, aren’t you?”

Murphy’s eyes were already closed. “Mmm hmm. Good night night, Mori, I-” _Shit_. He almost said he loved her. There was a time and place, but this wasn’t it. “-I hope you sleep well.”

“You too, John, I-.” She yawned. “Call me in the morning?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

* * *

**EMORI**

**SOL 93**

Emori was still sleeping when Monty came to wake her up, her radio cuddled into her chest. She must have fallen asleep talking to John and not noticed.

“We’re close.” Monty smiled. “Get ready and come to the bridge. We’ll be able to see Alpha soon.”

Emori didn’t even bother getting dressed, brushing her teeth, or combing her hair. She followed straight after Monty. He kept on sending little knowing smiles her way, but he didn’t say anything.

When they got to the bridge it was just the two of them as well as Shaw and Raven. They all smiled at her, and Emori bit her lips between her teeth. Her cheeks grew warm and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Instead she looked out the big window and waited.

Most of the window was overtaken by Alpha’s gas giant: a huge blue planet surrounded by a ring of rock. Emori grabbed onto Monty’s and Raven’s hands. Even being in space was still surreal. Before Polaris contacted her about the mission, she had never entertained the thought of getting to travel through space. Not seriously. Star Trek was sci-fi, not reality. Yet this was her reality now: in a spaceship about to land on a moon she’d come to view as her home. Where her husband was waiting for her on the ground.

“There it is!” Raven exclaimed, breaking her hand free from Emori’s to point to the horizon. Alpha appeared from behind the planet, and as they drew closer it got bigger and bigger.

Emori hadn’t noticed the rest of the mission team file in behind her, but now they all pressed forward. Echo’s hand was on her shoulder. “You’ll see him soon.”

Emori brought her hand up to squeeze Echo’s hand, then back down to her radio.

“Turn the beacon on, John, will you? We’re coming for you.”

John was rubbing his eyes when he appeared on the screen. “Good morning.” He yawned. “What was that? I just woke up.”

A chorus of laughter broke out, and John pouted.

“I said we’re coming for you, John. Could you turn on the beacon so we can find you?”

He whooped. “Hell yeah I can!” His voice softened. “I can’t wait for you to come home.”

“Me neither.”

“Me neither!” their friends yelled.

John laughed. “Try to land as close as you can to the beacon, okay? The clearing is really close to the village and I don’t want Shaw to fuck it up.”

“You hear that, Shaw?” Raven yelled over to him at the controls.

Shaw called from behind them. “Land right on top of the village? Got it. No problem.”

* * *

Emori clenched onto her seat of the transport ship as it descended onto Alpha. It didn’t even feel like they were moving quickly, but still she felt like she was headed straight through a wind tunnel. Her jaw clenched and her pulse was hammering in her chest. She looked around her and it looked like her friends shared the same fate. Echo had her eyes screwed shut and Monty was looking straight up at the ceiling.

They landed on the ground, and Emori couldn’t believe this was really happening. This had to be a dream.

It wasn’t a dream. Harper patted her shoulder and undid her seatbelt, and soon the door was opening down onto the ground.

They clicked the radio on. “Got anything better than ‘we made it, bitches'?”

“What about we’re back bitches?” The voice came from the woods beyond the clearing, and Emori’s heart skipped a beat. He had to yell in order for them to hear so far away without the radio, but it was unmistakably John.

“We’re back, bitches!” they yelled in agreement, stepping down until their feet were firmly on the ground. Emori led them toward the treeline, eyes darting back and forth for John.

He stepped out, and Emori broke into a run. He ran toward her as well and they met in the middle, the force of their hug spinning them around as they clung to each other like a lifeline. John felt so solid in her arms. She clutched onto his jacket and squeezed his body tight.

She backed up, just enough to look him in the eye, and he lowered his forehead to hers.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi.” She giggled with nervous excitement. “I can’t believe it’s really you.”

John stroked her face in his hands. “I’ve been feeling that for a while now, yeah.” He laughed through his smile. “And Emori… I need you to know I’m in love with you.”

“John…” She nodded. “I’m in love with you too.”

“Really?”

“With all my heart. I didn’t say because-” Everything in Emori was screaming out to kiss John. “Ah fuck it we can talk about this later.”

Emori closed her lips over his, and she could feel the rumble of his laughter in the split second before his brain caught up to him and he responded fully. Kissing John should have felt familiar, and in a way it did, but at the same time it was an entirely new experience. Now there was a new layer: a new excitement, a new devotion, a new promise. This wasn’t for their friends or Polaris or anyone else except just the two of them, locked in each other’s arms and so deeply in love they couldn’t contain it.

Sure their friends were cheering behind them, but Emori couldn’t care less.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello beautiful people!
> 
> I hope you liked this! If you did, I'd appreciate if you let me know in the comments! They really make my day like you wouldn't believe. I'm also on tumblr at [@mobi-on-a-mission](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mobi-on-a-mission). I mostly post Memori and all things The 100.
> 
> If you click on the collection, you can find the other works written for this round of Chopped: The 100 Fanfic Challenge. I have read them all and they’re so good!!! I want to extend a big thank you to everyone who participated in this round of Chopped—from the organizers to the writers to the readers who voted. Y’all made this a whole lot of fun and I am so humbled being among you and flattered to be voted for.
> 
> -Mobi 💕


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